On a Going Forward Basis...

"On a going forward basis" that was one of my LEAST favorite corporate catch-phrases when I worked for a big company. On a going forward basis? What's wrong with the classic "From now on"?  Its shorter, more efficient, more easily understandable and therefore more effective.

I think I'll start making up corporate catch-phrases that make little-to-no sense and see if I can get them to float. Let's start simple and get more and more absurd as we go. The idea is to infect the entire office and eventually get others to use your lingo. The best part is, you can use your lingo in any situation, because it should never make sense. As long as it is said with confidence and not dwelt upon, it will simply be understood within the context its used.

It could actually be a competitive office game, and the higher up the person is that uses your phrase, the higher your rank.  Whomever gets the big boss to parrot his or her slogan first wins. Wins what, you ask? How 'bout a few hours of happy, interesting work day hours in a sea miserable time-wasting monotony and boredom- sounds good to me.  But if you get busted or called out, you're out of the game and are sworn to secrecy... on a going forward basis.


Feel free to post your 'office garble' suggestions; here are a few I like:

"incentivize out-of-the-box solutions"

"keep now under a time-scrutiny basis"

"lets monetize our focus on frictionless action items"

"incubate efficient e-commerce synergies"

"visualize sexy web-readiness"